Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Of course I have a pirate flag
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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