If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
