Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
