I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize