He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
