My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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