The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize