I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
