Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
