I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
