If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
