he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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