He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize