Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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