two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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