I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
