Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
