I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
