I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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