why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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