Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize