All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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