I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
