You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
