haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
