my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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