if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
