she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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