Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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