just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
