i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize