i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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