We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
