so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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