just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
