Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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