i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
