Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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