I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
