I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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