Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
