my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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