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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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