I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
