He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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