Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
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Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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