I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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