you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?