he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!