I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.