I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.