I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket