i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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