Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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