is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
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I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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