We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize