Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
