What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
