Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
