well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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