I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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