I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
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I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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